LOST & FOUND

This morning I was all of a sudden sad. Not right when I woke up, but a few hours later, and for no apparent reason. Not overwhelmingly sad, just a bit out of place. Maybe lonely. Maybe PMS. Who knows...

I got on the subway, heading into work, and wrote furiously of my self-doubts, my fears, my questions without answers.

I felt no better.

So I closed my eyes and started to concentrate on just my breath. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

I must've had my eyes closed for about 10 minutes, and when I opened them at 59th Street, a man was right in front of me and said, "Are you Rachel Ayers?" I said yes, a little surprised, and he shook my hand and reminded me that he was Dan from Firestone. I nodded and quickly searched his face and finally saw the kid I knew in high school looking back at me from behind eyes I didn't recognize at first.

As he was getting off the train, we had a lightning-round conversation: "Do you live here?" I said yes, in Inwood. "I live at 180th." And then the familiar, "Stand clear of the closing doors please." He was on the platform, I in my seat, and he smiled, shrugged, and said "I'll find you." I yelled out the name of where I worked as the doors were closing and he seemed to hear me.

Isn't it funny when those things happen? And isn't it serendipitous that he said he'd find me - as today I feel a bit lost and needing to be found.