"... we also rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, because God has poured out his love into our hearts..." (Romans 5:3-5)
This verse was given to me by a good friend a few months ago - when rejoicing in my suffering was the furthest thing from my mind, (I was more content to wallow in it, thank you very much). But I believe in God. And I believe he has a plan. And I know that while it may not always be clear to me, I choose to trust in his goodness.
So I read this passage. Every day. And another one my friend gave me along with it. I carried them both around in my purse on a pink index card. I read it on the subway. I read it at work. I read it when I woke up and before I went to bed. And pretty soon reading led to reciting what I had unknowingly (or at any rate, without meaning to) memorized.
And pretty soon, although I wasn't quite rejoicing in my suffering, I had at least climbed out of the wallowing. And soon after that, I realized my adament perserverence. Which led to an embracing of my Self, my character, (which I'm stll continually recognizing). And that finally allowed me to see the hope... even if it quite often slipped away through my fingers, at least I knew it was there.
Hearing this verse again at church this morning was a pleasant surprise - one that brought quick, flash-back memories of the not-so-distant suffering... and a longer-lasting recognition that that elusive idea of hope is now a permanent fixture in my heart.
And although that aching is not completely over, I am now a bit more willing to rejoice in it, because I have lived that perserverence and grown in my character, and I know that hope (although not always immediately apparent) is always abundant. It does not disappoint.
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