PASSING STRANGE

"What does this feeling mean to you -
both to be seen and to be seen through."
- PASSING STRANGE

Uncensored, raw, stream of consciousness writing during the intermission of PASSING STRANGE. If you have not yet, go. Go. See. This. Play.

... feeling like a tug of war within myself - having wanted so long, for so much of my youth, to acheive a certain kind of life - mother, wife, family, stability and then to be scared by the strange sensation of wanting something unknown instead - and then to relate to that (through a medium i LOVE) and to have another show me to myself - holding up a mirror to society, isn't that what this is all about? i want to want that other life without feeling like i have to hold on to the life i always though i'd live and realize it's not failing or forgetting, it's changing, passing... strange... falling in love with someone who seems more at ease with himself than i am with myself - who confuses me and comforts me, just as my entire life here in this wild city does - the eye-openeing and raw feeling of gaining knowledge - innocence is bliss, yes? meaning that knowledge is hell? definitely harder and hopfully more worthwhile - truer - more honest - a life lived fully. when she screams in agony at the thought she'll soon be 30, it's laugh-out-loud funny, but somehow when it's just me having those thoughts in the silence of myself it's shocking and frightening... life is long and over in the blink of an eye. this piece makes me cry for things i didn't even know were in me - tears flowing while i laugh - having to hold back and not become a blubbering mess in a broadway theatre - so many pent up emotions that i can't even navigate through for i don't recognize what they are - a crazy, crazed feeling sweeps over me, draping a weighty blanket onto my heart that the shudders can't shake off. an entirely different thing than i've ever experienced. i hope it goes away soon and i hope it never leaves.