30 December, 2009


One of my favorite things about daily life is listening to the songs that pop in and out of my beau's head... today alone he's sung snippets of Journey's Can You Take Me High Enough, Ragtime's We Can Never Go Back To Before, the standard holiday carol I'll Be Home For Christmas...

He sings in the shower. He sings at the computer. He sings while washing dishes. I see a lifetime of serenading in my future... I think I'm okay with that :)

29 December, 2009


Can't afford to quit working, yet can't afford daycare on current wages. I now fully understand the phrase.

Maybe ignorance IS bliss...

28 December, 2009


Christmas is over. Well, at least in our home. There might be over-played carols on the radio until New Year's and glitzy decorations still lining the streets, but less than 6 hours after our holiday guests were on the road, our apartment has been fully restored to "regular" shape - ornaments away, lights carefully wrapped up, trash bundled, and tree outside. I'm not sure what it was that made me want to get back to "normal" life so quickly this year... but I think it has something to do with nesting instincts and a baby due date that is just around the corner.

27 December, 2009


To wake me up today at 7:30 - a dream filled with apprehension about what our baby will look like. To keep me tossing and turning the night before - a dream that left me wondering, bleary-eyed, if I will be a good parent. To add to the anticipation of Christmas Eve - a dream of going into early labor and wondering who will finish the last few things I need to get done at work. The time is upon us! It fills my thoughts during the day and through the night.


When I look up the word APPREHENSION there are 3 definitions:
fearful or uneasy anticipation of the future ahead
the act of seizing or capturing, arresting
the ability to apprehend or understand

Yep. I think that's the perfect word for how I feel right now - knowing that there are only 4 weeks left (28 days... or less!) until:
I have a child
I am a parent
I am responsible for a life other than my own.

And I fit every definition of that word - at the same time uneasy and yet understanding of what is about to occur, as the waves of feelings come upon me suddenly and without warning, seizing my heart and mind.

25 December, 2009


Though I miss my family this Christmas morning, I am surprisingly comforted with the joy of being in New York carving out new traditions with a family that has already embraced me as one of their own... and waking up on this Christmas morning with a man that I love dearly, feeling our child move within me, knowing the promise of Christmases ahead as the three of us become our own family - well, that is a true tiding of comfort and joy.

22 December, 2009


An interesting article proving that the debate between commercial theatre and non-profit theatre (and where to draw the line between the two) is far from over...

CLICK HERE to read from the NY Times website.

19 December, 2009


On a morning whim, we're headed out to see this newest action-adventure-3-D-James-Cameron movie... before we can't head out on a whim anymore! Hope it's worth the arm & the leg. (How do people afford to pay for both entertainment AND babysitting?)


We graduated!
As you can see by this very official certificate, we are now the proud graduates of our childbirth course. Our final class was a tour of the hospital - we saw the construction-laden entrance (as they work to improve the outside appearance), the slow but spacious elevators to the 8th floor (where we'll head as soon as we're in labor), the "triage" room where it'll be determined by a nurse whether or not we should be admitted into the hospital or if we're having a false alarm, the labor and delivery room (complete with private bathroom, shower, and all the fancy medical equipment you could want), and the cramped-but-who-cares-because-you'll-have-your-BABY-to-keep-you-occupied recovery room (where we'll spend about 2 days after delivery until we get to go home).

And when walking by the nursery we got the special treat of seeing an hours-old newborn, who cried his or her eyes out for about 5 seconds before apparently wearing himself or herself out and promptly falling asleep. Oh, they're so cute. I can't believe we're having one & she's almost here!!


It's supposed to snow today. A lot. Enough to have almost a foot of it by tomorrow morning. I wonder if it will... I do so love the first snowfall.


Our 4th childbirth class was all about baby care: we learned to give a baby sponge bath, to put on a diaper, to swaddle the baby, to care for the umbilical cord, to determine what was a "normal" after-birth side effect and when to call the doctor instead, to expect around 10 diaper changes a day, to always position the baby on her back to sleep... much to remember! However, when you're using a hard, plastic, inflexible baby doll on which to practice all of these things - well, I'm not sure how helpful it will truly be - especially when we have a soft, little, real baby who can't hold up her head. But at least we'll know what we're supposed to be doing - even if it takes us a few times before we get it right!


Recently we got the cool experience of a free screening of the latest movie/musical NINE. Free tickets, free popcorn, free drink, free pre-show entertainment from the ladies in front of us who wanted to sit together but got there too late and made it everyone else's problem, and free viewing of starry people who were there in person to help introduce the film.

I know it's impossible to actually tell from this picture, but not 30 feet in front of us there was this amazing actress, and there was this daughter of Goldie, and there was this diva of the silver screen, and this incredible actor. Plus the director of the film (who went to my college - go, Point Park!). A fun night all around - and did I mention it was free? That was definitely the best part :)

16 December, 2009


Our baby is smart. She's turned herself around so that she's finally in the vertex position (head down, ready to be born as naturally as possible).

She had us worried there for a minute, but in her own time she figured it out. I'm already so proud of her!

13 December, 2009


Finally finished this non-fiction thriller: a combination between a fascinating exploration of the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago, and a terrible accounting of a secret serial killer who ran rampant through the fair and beyond. A few quotes worth noting from this book...

* This book is about the evanescence of life, and why some men choose to fill their brief allotment of time engaging the impossible, other in the manufacture of sorrow.

* I get so tired sitting that I could get up and fly almost.

* It takes no end of time and worry to get a thing settled right but only a second to have orders given out for a wrong thing to be done.

* The fair taught men and women steeped only in the necessary to see that cities did not have to be dark, soiled, and unsafe bastions of the strictly pragmatic. They could also be beautiful.

09 December, 2009


Either an amazingly well-planned surprise baby shower was thrown for me at work today, or I am just really good at overlooking potentially surprise-ruining antics.

Having my first restless night of sleep last night (not comfortable in the bed, tried a rocking chair for an hour or so, then ended up half-sleeping on the couch) contributed to my less-than-ideal mood this morning and an apathy toward the work day ahead. During the first part of my day - when I was reconciling credit card receipts, paying bills, setting up tickets and other less-than-exciting tasks - there was apparently a cat getting out of the bag when a co-worker, not realizing I was there in the office, yelled across the hall: "So what's going on with this baby shower today?!" But did I hear it? Not at all. Then after a lunch date with a dear friend, I went to the theatre to check in on the student matinee - and was feeling so exhausted and cranky that I really thought about checking out and going home early. Except that there was a meeting scheduled late in the afternoon to discuss the constant leaks in the theatre and how to continue dealing with them, so I knew I had to stay.

The meeting was in a small lounge overlooking the main theatre lobby - and it started 15 minutes late - and it seemed like no one was actually talking about our leaks or how to better deal with them, but instead fondly recalling all the leaks at other theatres where they've worked in the past... and man, was I getting frustrated! (Little did I know it was a fake meeting.) About 10 minutes later, our maintenance guy popped his head in and said we just sprung a new, huge leak in the main lobby and we needed to come down and deal with it right away. Being that it poured that morning, and leaks were exactly what we were discussing, this was more maddening than surprising and I began cursing the gods. Leaving the lounge, I heard lots of talking from the lobby below and even looked out over the ledge to see a few people from the education staff and the actors from our show gathered there... but as we just had a student matinee, I thought nothing of it. Walking down the stairs to the lobby - silently swearing to myself that the next time I get 3 hours of sleep and it's pouring in the morning and I'm 33 weeks pregnant I would just stay in bed - I still had not the slightest idea what I was in for... until I turned the corner expecting a puddle of rain water and was greated with a "Surprise!!" and a sea of smiling faces and a cake and gifts and even my beau was there (what a good secret keeper)!

And even still it took me a moment to realize what was happening. And once I did I could barely say thank you because I had already started to cry - probably out of exhaustion and relief and humble gratitude. People from the office made the trek over to the theatre, our press team came too, and the actors, and the education staff, and my boss, and the ushers... a wardrobe supervisor/baker-extraordinaire made the cake, and our house manager got little baby favors, and we received an overwhelmingly generous gift card that should last us until our baby girl can walk!

A surprise indeed. But not surprising that it came from such wonderful people.

05 December, 2009



It's a ballet... no, it's hip-hop... no wait: it's both. And I love it.
(Thanks D for sharing!)


Okay, okay. So our version is a FAR cry from going out into a field with your handsaw and chopping down the biggest fir you can find! But this weekend we'll be getting our Christmas tree - probably from a guy with a tree-stand on the corner near a deli (ah, the NYC charm of it all) - and I'm really looking forward to it. It's been a few years since I've had a real tree - or any tree for that matter - in New York. I can't wait to be able to smell the pine needles in the corner of our apartment; to arrange our furniture so the tree will fit; to re-discover the ornaments and decorate it with lights; to have some holiday cheer right in our living room. And then the best part - to be able to come home, sit on the couch with only the twinkling tree lights casting a glow over the room, with a hot beverage in hand and a book or soothing music nearby... and just be.


After a week off for the Thanksgiving holiday, we were back to our childbirth classes this week with a lesson that involved information about baby presentation (what position the baby's in for delivery), cesarean birth and the care for mom & baby afterward, and we practiced pushing positions (without actually pushing... just in case!). We also watched a video and saw a real c-section being performed.

During the class, my partner was playing with my hair at certain points and there was also a constant ticking of the clock on the wall - which allowed me to recognize that both of these things were extremely comforting to me... perhaps some things to remember when I'm trying to recall those relaxation exercises during labor.

Gearing up next week for baby care & the week after is our final one: a visit to the hospital to see where it all happens!

03 December, 2009


A few people (particularly my mom & brother) have commented to me that it can be challenging to leave a comment on my blog...

Well, I want to hear these thoughts!
Be they funny, or advice-giving, or full of love. So I think I've made it a bit easier. No need for a Google account - just enter your name & speak your mind. A one-sided blog can get a bit boring... so enjoy :)


This pedicure was the first 1/2 of my birthday gift from the man I love.

The second 1/2 was a pre-natal massage... which was one of the many ways I knew he loved me back.

01 December, 2009


The definition of faith - so says Aaron Sorkin in the 4th season of The West Wing:
"The substance of things hoped for
and the evidence of things not seen."