31 January, 2009


What is it about a football lying around that makes everyone want to play catch?


There's something that I love love love about tech week. Seeing all of that hard work, the blood, sweat and tears, the fighting and the compromising and the difficulties - finally coming into a clear and beautiful vision on stage.

I like the anticipation. I like the moments of waiting. I like the slow pace of figuring things out. I like the inside jokes that will be formed. I like the repetition. I like the funny moments when no one really meant to be funny.

I hope I remember all of these things in a positive way come five long days from now... when I'm still here...

29 January, 2009


I'm grateful to have seen this beautiful, heartbreaking, thoughtful, gentle theatrical piece at St. Ann's Warehouse. I never imagined I could be so touched by or enamored with a puppet! Not only was it a really inventive and sensitive piece, I was also lucky enough to be surrounded by 3 friends who felt it's depth right along with me... and talked about it the whole way home. How refreshing it is to remember the innate joy I get and the pleasure I receive from theatre.

27 January, 2009


Sometime in high school, I stumbled across this anonymous poem. I might be mis-remembering, but I think I found it in a book of poetry my mom kept when she was younger. It was hand written when I first saw it. In college, it showed up again - at a crucial time. I've been missing it (without really knowing that I was missing it) for about 5 years now... and recently a high school friend posted it on her facebook page.

Maybe you need it now... maybe I do.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,

You begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build all your roads
on today
Because tomorrow's ground
is too uncertain,
And futures have
a way of falling down in midflight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine
If you get too much.

So you plant your own garden
And decorate
our own soul,
Instead of waiting
for someone else
To bring you flowers.

And you learn that you can really endure,
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth

And you learn and learn ...

With every goodbye you learn.

25 January, 2009


A beautiful sculpture by a wonderful man who is a friend, a supporter, an artist, a creator, a listener, a talker... who has a big heart and a mind that will never stop wondering.

23 January, 2009


1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past so as not to ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts about things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
23. Forgive everyone for everything.
24. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
25. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
26. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
27. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
28. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
29. Do the right thing.
30. Call your family often.
31. Be happy.
32. Each day give something good to others.
33. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
34. Share this with someone you care about.

22 January, 2009


"Layoff is the temporary suspension or permanent termination of employment of an employee or (more commonly) a group of employees for business reasons, such as the decision that certain positions are no longer necessary or a business slow-down or interruption in work. Originally the term "layoff" referred exclusively to a temporary interruption in work, as when factory work cyclically falls off. However, the term has also applied to the permanent elimination of positions as a cost-cutting measure (or for other reasons)."

Yet another reminder of being an "adult" has occurred: working with a corporation that, during these difficult economic times, has had to resort to laying people off - however unwillingly and while first trying everything else in its power before succumbing to that disappointing ending.

Having witnessed both sides of this upsetting coin, I'm feeling conflicted. Upset and almost angry by the fact that things like this happen. Sadness for the people who are leaving. Guilt for being one of the ones who was not cut. Burdened by the additional work that remains in their departure. Guilt again for complaining about that work instead of being grateful that I still have a job. Compassion for my supervisor who had to help make those awful decisions and then had to be the bearer of bad news. Reluctant understanding of why those decisions were made in this way. Helplessness, knowing that these are good people - both those who are leaving and those who are making them leave - and that this was the sliver between the proverbial Rock and recent Hard Place.

21 January, 2009


Thanks, MTP!

("On your blog, you talked about what image to choose to represent the day yesterday? Try www.GeoEye.com and select the "featured image" - it blows the mind.")

19 January, 2009


One of the things that I like most about being in a relationship is the simple, little everyday things that occur and making comments about them to the person you love. "Saw this ad on the subway and thought of you..." or "A whiff of those roasted cashews on the sidewalk made me think of that one time..." or "Are you outside right now? It's perfect weather."

For me, it usually has to do with something sensory. Something that can make me feel closer to that person, if we're only minutes or even miles apart.

And one of the things I like least about not being in a relationship is that when you experience those simple, little everything things - there's no one to tell. Of course there are friends and family and roommates and co-workers... but it's different somehow. Sigh...

Well, I hope you're enjoying this picture-perfect winter's day, as I am.


I like today.

Celebrating two things: my good friend's birthday (Happy Birthday, geezer!) and Dubbya's last day in office. Thank heaven. Both are very valid reasons for celebrating. And both are the beginning of a new year - of change, of growth, of hope.

18 January, 2009


Here we go, Steelers
Here we go -
Pittsburgh's going to the Superbowl

Here we go...

Aside from the great game, I wouldn't have wanted to watch it with anyone else - shout out to the crew. Can't wait til February 1st!

17 January, 2009



I'm reminded today how comforting it is to live with someone. After spending a year living on my own - an important year, a year during which I learned some very valuable lessons about myself - I am grateful to have another opportunity to share my surroundings with another person. A strong, independent, imaginative, kind woman. Someone to be accountable to - someone to enjoy dinner with - someone to explore the neighborhood with - someone who understands needing alone time, too.

When I woke up this morning and spent those lovely 10-15 minutes just lying in my "bed" and taking the time to open my eyes, I heard her softly moving around the apartment and I smiled, thinking - it's nice to have a flatmate. And also thinking - the word "flatmate" is a funny word.

13 January, 2009


It's a source of pride for me to say, with confidence, that I have remained friends with everyone I've ever dated... and their families, too. Not common, I'm told. But common for me. I say this not to toot my own horn (though, c'mon! that's definitely an accomplishment!) but instead, to say that I was reminded today of how grateful I am for it.

I had an impromptu lunch date with an incredible woman. The older sister of a once-beau. She called me up, said she was in the city doing an errand and a bit of shopping on Madison Avenue (yeah, she's fancy like that), and did I have time for lunch? We went to this great little Italian hole-in-the-wall in midtown. We had wine and pasta and salad and warm bread. We caught up on jobs and apartments and dating prospects. And we had a very sweet, honest moment of "I miss you in my life". We left it laughing and making plans to meet up again soon.

It goes straight to the heart of something I've always thought: if you've had a relationship with someone long enough to also have a relationship with their siblings or parents, there is a need to also "break-up" with them when the relationship ends. And it doesn't always happen - the chance to get that closure, or at least the chance (as was the case today) to forge ahead in your OWN friendship, independent of the beau that may have brought you together.

12 January, 2009


Oh, how she despised the torment of loving like a girl instead of like… like a sophisticated woman – whatever that might be!

- Jan Karon, A COMMON LIFE


Did you ever leave a message on someone's voicemail and then wish you could go back and listen to it? It seems so juvenile to be sitting here wondering, "Did I sound like a dork?" "Did I play it cool enough?" "Did I seem nervous?"

Sometimes I wonder how it is that I can be responsible for and manage (well!) a million dollar production, but things like leaving a message on someone's cell phone make me feel like a school girl.


Why is it always easier to give good advice to others... and harder to heed that same advice when it comes to dealing with yourself? It's always so clear when it's someone else.

11 January, 2009


The M&M store at 10am (the sickly sweet smell of chocolate before breakfast is never a good idea). Versace glasses (how fancy!). The streets of New York on a Saturday morning (and the beginnings of a wintry snowfall). First time cooking in the new apartment (complete with both real and fake sausage). A Broadway matinee (with front row seats that made my neck hurt but I barely noticed because I was enjoying myself so much). A trek through the snow (seven inches, ha!). A trip to Duane Reade (seriously, that hat is nice). Quick stop for a drink (glad you remembered exactly where it was). Over-stimulation with a gaggle of friends and too much cornbread (what? those blue lights were on the whole time). $12.50 for a movie half of us didn't watch the whole way through (those dybbuks are scary - and so was that lame dialogue!). A quick subway ride (oh, the luxury of living on the island). A cup of hot tea (which goes extremely well with a side dish of relationship therapy). A make-shift bed of blankets on the floor (hey - at least the pillows were comfortable). A snooze on the alarm (three times). Another cup of tea with leftover crescent rolls (and a funny cat). A long hug (never long enough!) and a shout out on the blog (space ice - smiley face).

08 January, 2009


Sometimes my job involves crisis management, other times it's long-term planning, but today was a rare chance to work on some element of all three productions in the same day.

#1 is closing on Sunday - it was a great run and there have been some understudies going on this last week (which has made for some excitement) so I visited the theatre today and checked up on my cast of boys. I'll miss them - they're a good crew.

#2 is in rehearsals - I was dealing with budgets and schedules and playbills today, and hopefully finding a way to get Apple to donate 2 computers and 2 iPhones to the show. (Can you flirt your way into getting a big freebie like that? I hope so!)

#3 had a reading this afternoon - and it was great to hear the play aloud, instead of just looking at it on paper. It made me laugh and made me cry and made me excited for the spring.

How lucky I am to be working on such wonderful theatre - not to mention THREE shows at once!

07 January, 2009


i woke up
at six a.m.
without an alarm
wasn't thirsty didn't
have to pee
no strange noises
feeling wide awake
even energized after
going to bed
at one o'clock
now the question...
should i stay
awake and use
this time to
be productive or
should i go
back to bed

05 January, 2009


I couldn't wait to get home from work today so I could continue setting up my new place. This is my 4th apartment in 6 years (and that doesn't even include the 3 different places I spent months crashing on couches or spare-room-futons). Doesn't sound like a very secure lifestyle, does it? But I love it. I love packing up my things. I love discovering things I'd forgotten about. I love getting rid of old things. I have a love / hate relationship with the actual "moving" part (love the friends and the jokes and the hilarious exhaustion / hate the u-hauls and the staircases and the soreness).

I love the unpacking especially. I love rediscovering things and finding new homes for them. I love deciding where things should live.

Perhaps that's why I move so much. Or perhaps it's just the nature of this city - always in motion.

04 January, 2009


It is a beautiful thing to wake up in a new apartment...

even if you do have sore muscles, an aching back, a slight headache, and feel generally exhausted from yesterday's moving experience.

Shout out to friends who were AMAZING - thank you for helping me with everything!

01 January, 2009


When I think back over 2008 and reflect on all the things that happened, I can barely believe that it's over. It was a year packed with growing pains - painful, agonizing ones... ones that were not so bad but completely necessary... and good ones, too.

I started a blog. I moved into my own apartment and lived by myself for the first time in my life. I became an aunt.

I watched my city's team win the Super Bowl. I met Eartha Kitt and Bill Irwin. I read books that changed my mentality.

I struggled with my faith in God - and then, amazingly, I found a truer, more honest version of it. I saw a Broadway musical that restored my faith in Broadway musicals. I joined the board of a theatre company.

I ended a significant relationship after many months of loving efforts that just weren't working anymore. I played the piano for my church. I sang in a professional recording studio.

I stage managed a play
. I spent a weekend in Chicago that ended with a cathartic road trip home. I rekindled powerful friendships that are incredibly meaningful to me.

I went to an outdoor funk festival in Harlem and saw the heartbreak of the Belmont Stakes in person. Seven out-of-town guys spent a few hours sleeping all over my tiny apartment. I got a new job.

I witnessed the International Hot Dog Eating Contest. I saw another Broadway musical that makes me so proud. I left a job that was less like work and more like family to me.

I cried at a wedding full of love and southern hospitality. I cried for Michael Phelps when he won that 8th gold medal. I cried during the Democratic National Convention.

I burnt myself to a lobster crisp on the coast of Texas with women I love. I took a sign language class and made international connections. I joined a book club.

I discovered the addictive joy of Jamba Juice. I had the distinct honor of going through the whole bridal shower-bachelorette party-beautiful wedding of my life-long friend. I entered the final year of my 20's.

I cheered for an historic and hopeful presidential election. I started dating again - a delightful, delicious experience. I enjoyed the 2nd annual NYC Family Thanksgiving.

I lifted my voice in a chorus. I enjoyed the 2nd annual NYC Family Christmas, complete with Muppet movies. I got a new roommate and a new apartment. I remembered how much I fiercely love my family.

I grew. So much it hurt. In a good way.


A wonderful new year to all.
May it be filled with abundant blessings
and love beyond measure!