02 September, 2010

MAKE THE ASK

Sometimes my husband is wise beyond his years.  The other night we were having a good conversation about making sure we continue to communicate with each other as best as we are able; we're usually very good at this - communicating - but on this particular night, a deep rooted habit of mine was getting in the way: the fear of being a "nag". 

I am my mother's daughter.  99% of the time, I put others' needs, others' joys, others' wants ahead of my own - I'm a people pleaser.  And quite often, doing something to make another person happy in turn makes me happy.  But there is a time when this habit can get in my own way: when I need help.  Mostly, I'm not very good at asking for help.  I multi-task.  I cook almost every night (even when my beau offers to make something).  I don't even use the intern at work for much - I make my own copies, reconcile my own bills, do my own filing.  Somewhere along the line, I began to think that asking for help - asking someone else to do something I could probably handle on my own - was naggish, was whiny, was just not me.  I'm the people pleaser!  I'm the do-er! 

As we may very well have learned from Dubya, ("I'm the decider!") sometimes it's best to ask others for help instead of thinking you can handle everything yourself.

Maybe all I needed was someone to tell me it's okay to ask for help.  Just make the ask.  And when you do, perhaps you'll get what you need.

1 comment:

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