I went to "my old 'hood" this evening... the neighborhood in which I lived during a hard time in my life. A neighborhood so high up in Manhattan that we lovingly/hatingly nicknamed it "upstate Manhattan". I headed up there to go to a holiday party at my good friend's home. She lives a stone's throw from the apartment where I used to live, (although her one-bedroom is much much nicer than mine was).
Sometimes it's weird going back to a place. I'm a different person than I was when I lived there a few short years ago - although it seems like a lifetime has passed since then. Then - I was tired, I was struggling, I was unhappy... in short, I was not myself. Now - I am full of life, I am loved, I am joyous. And being this person in that world was - well, weird.
It made the neighborhood - all that I remember, all that I liked - seem sad and lonely. I'm in such a lovely place in my life and being back there made me feel... well, not quite guilty for being happier - but something like that. Something that I didn't like feeling.
Strange how the physical world can have such an impact on your emotional world.