19 April, 2009


It began because we were lost. We'd started seeing signs for parts of Pennsylvania that we were certain we didn't pass on the way there - and we didn't think we should have to go through to get home. Seems we missed I-380 somewhere along the way. But we knew the general direction we wanted to head and just hopped on I-78 East as soon as we could. I had no idea what road we were on & I wasn't familiar with the territory, but I had faith that we would end up in the right place - we even saw signs for New York City (although the mileage was a little further than we'd hoped). So I was driving. And I was humming. And I was content. But my PT Cruiser-mate was more skeptical. He was cautious and reserved and quieter than he'd been the whole trip. He even turned down the music at one point - a sign I knew to mean that something was bothering him. And then, "Oh! We're close to Newark! Okay." And as soon as he saw that sign, he trusted that we were well on our way... and he cranked up Girlyman and sang along.

It got me thinking about Faith and Trust - and what makes them different. I had no idea where we were at the precise moment, but I believed we were headed in the right direction; I had blind faith that we'd make it. He had no idea where we were either, but believed we were headed in the right direction after seeing the proof; he trusted once the evidence was there.

I remembered back to the first time I broke my parents' trust - and the conversation we had afterward: though they had Faith that I would keep my promise not to do whatever it was again, I still needed to regain their Trust by showing them, proving it.

And of course - true to form - a few thoughts about religion and relationships rolled around in my head as well. The very basis of religion being Faith - and Faith being something you cannot prove or something for which you do not have hard evidence (enter Belief). Similarly, although I may have Faith that a relationship will turn out the way I believe it will, the Trust will only come - can only come - over time, in living up to that Faith in the flesh.

They seem to strengthen each other.

And then I realized that I had been the quiet one for a while. So I took a pen from the cup holder, and carefully - while keeping my eyes on the road - scratched FAITH VS. TRUST on the back of my hand. And instead of getting too far into the spiral of my mind, I joined in a chorus of Viola.

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