25 January, 2008

GETTING USED TO IT

I suppose all new things take some getting used to.

I realize this is not a new thought or a profound "aha" moment, but in chatting with a friend of mine tonight, this truth became a little clearer to me.

One of the new things I'm involved in at the moment is living by myself. And I was never really sure how I'd react to it - especially having spent the last few decades always living with at least one other person: my family, my college dormmate, my friends, my beau. Always experiencing the comfort of that last moment in the evening when I can say "Good Night" to someone.

But it's quieter now. And my own thoughts are the things that most keep me company. And I'm just not used to that yet.

Here are 3 particular things I've come to realize while living alone:

* I've only recently started to have the feeling of wanting to be at my house, my own place... that's a nice feeling.

* Although I've already lived in this neighborhood for a year and a half - and I'm comfortable here - living by myself does create a small fear in me that I've not experienced before.

* The freedom to be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, means you only have yourself to answer to - and without a certain discipline, I often find myself being too lenient!

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